update on naksa day protest prisoner khaled zwahre

(wrote this on 7. August 2011, with updates later on. Khaled is now finally out of military prison again, after having served six months on made up charges. He is just one of thousands, but one on whom we actually bothered to follow up)

 

26 year old Khaled Zwahre was detained on 5.6.2011 during Naksa Day protests in Qalandia while blocking an army vehicle that was about to invade further into residential areas of Qalandia. According to eye-witnesses, his arrest appeared random. Khaled was taken to Atarot police station (in Qalandia industrial area, operated by the border police), where he was suspected of participating in an unauthorized demonstration and disturbing a policeman/soldier on duty. Only the following day, two border policemen – one of whom wrote a report on the day of arrest, incriminating Khaled only for the above mentioned offenses – “remembered” that Khaled also threw stones, and gave a very weak statement against him.

 

Although there are several videos and photographs that show that Khaled was arrested while blocking the army vehicle, and although there are several witnesses including journalists willing to testify that Khaled only used his voice in chants and his body in trying to block the vehicle during that protest, and despite of the weakness of the border policemen’s testimonies, Khaled was indicted on July 12 and charged with participating in an unauthorized demonstration, disturbing a policeman/soldier on duty, AND stone throwing. Videos of Khaled’s arrest:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLhHPfcmeQw&feature=player_embedded (starting at 4:50:) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHYS0h-Oxmg&feature=player_embedded

 

The military court in Ofer ordered that Khaled be remanded, meaning that he be kept under arrest until the end of proceedings. Khaled’s lawyers appealed against the remand decision (there was a hearing concerning this appeal on June 15th at the military court of appeals). The appeals court took an outrageously long time to decide and finally rejected the appeal, meaning that it confirmed that Khaled – without the question of “guilt” even being addressed – is to be kept under arrest until the end of the proceedings.

 

The actual trial – where the allegations against Khaled are being heard and judged – only started on August 3. The policeman who arrested him testified against Khaled, giving false testimony – in a confident way – that upheld the allegation of stone throwing.

 

Fortunately, Khaled’s lawyers are in possession of video footage that clearly proves that the policeman was lying. The next hearing will take place on August 14. Khaled and other defense witnesses are scheduled to testify then, and ideally, if there is enough time to hear the concluding arguments the same day, the verdict would be given at the following hearing. Khaled’s lawyers are trying to speed up the process as much as possible to spare him unnecessary time in prison. Should the trial be prolonged, however, Khaled would be in the absurd – yet very common – situation that he would probably get released earlier if, despite of his innocence, he pleaded guilty and agreed to a “plea bargain” than if he continued his defense in his trial.

 

 

About Khaled: Khaled Zwahre is originally from Lydd, but was born in Ramallah. As the oldest of three brothers and three sisters, Khaled is the sole bread-winner in his family since his father’s death several years ago. Living in Ramallah by himself and working as a painter, Khaled provides for his mother and siblings who are living in Beitunia. He has put several of siblings through school, with one of his sisters still studying. Khaled’s family home is currently also home to a friend of his who was in need of housing.

 

Four months prior to his arrest, Khaled began regularly supporting the popular resistance in Nabi Saleh in solidarity. Khaled is greatly missed by his friends and family, and we are all outraged at the absurdity and blatant injustice of his arrest. Khaled would be pleased to see familiar faces at the hearing on August 14. If you would like to go, please send your full names and ID/passport numbers to xxx@xxx.xxxby Thursday, August 11, at 12h. For pictures of Khaled during the protest, see: https://occupiedpalestine.wordpress.com/2011/06/13/khaled-will-be-in-prison-for-100-days-for-standing-in-front-of-a-skunk-car-making-a-peace-sign/

UPDATE (21.8.2011)

from the lawyer’s office:

“hi, we were just announced that khaled’s verdict will be given tomorrow in ofer “court”. if you want to go or know sombody who does, please let <vegemmon> know as soon as possible and maximum by 3pm. i hope there will be some good news in these terrible days.”</vegemmon>

 

UPDATE: on Naksa Day protest prisoner Khaled Zwahre: Today, Khaled’s legal defense was heard at Ofer military prison. Khaled gave his statement – which, according to the lawyers, he did well – and an Israeli videographer testified in his defense. Both prosecution and defense also presented their closing statements today – which is good. (…) Now, we are waiting for the judge to write the sentence and call in the next hearing. We hope that she will do so as quickly as possible. A friend of Khaled’s went to the hearing and reports that Khaled was laughing and both joked (so both soldiers and judge threated to ban his friend from the court room). The friend came back in better moods after seeing Khaled. That’s good to know. Now, we need him out ASAP!

 

UPDATE (22.8.2011):

Hi everyone. Bad news: Khaled was found guilty of all charges, that is: participation in an unauthorized demo, obstruction a policeman/soldier on duty, and stone throwing. The stone-throwing charge is of course made up and we had been hoping and expecting that he would be acquitted of this point, as there is video footage and a strong testimony to prove that the charge is unfounded and because the testimony of the officer incriminating him was apparently very weak.

On September5, there will be a hearing when both sides will present their arguments (on the kind and length of the “appropriate” punishment). The actual sentencing will probably take place at another hearing, and only then can the defense appeal.

There will be more about the verdict later, for now, just sharing the really bad news.

Sorry.

 

 

DETAILS ON KHALED’S VERDICT AND TRIAL (26.8.2011):

This is from a source that has spoken with Khaled’s lawyer.

“The decision is entirly based on reliability. That is to say, the judge used and needed many excuses to justify the border policeman’s testimony, despite its manny flaws. For example, in the report made after the demonstration, the border policeman alleged that stones were thrown, but didn’t say anything about Khaled doing so. He only incrimminated Khaled of interference and participating in an unauthorized demonstration. He also gave a written statement to the police, in which he didn’t say anything about Khaled throwing stones. Therefore, Khaled was not interrogated at first about throwing stones.

However, after Khaled’s attorney filed a request to release him from detention, the same border police man gave a new statement to the police which incriminated Khaled of stone throwing in addition to the above.  When he was asked why he didn’t write this in his report, he replied that he had only given a general description and hadn’t gone into detail.

At some point, another report appeared in which the same border policeman incriminated Khaled personally of stone throwing. The border policeman had written the same date and hour on this report as the first report, however, this  was only in reference to the time of the event (the actual protest) and not to the time this report was written. Khaled’s attorneys have very strong and based reason

to believe that this report was written after the second statement that the border policeman gave to the police, but either way, it gave an unreliable impression(or so the attorney’s office thought).

In court, the border policeman said the he hadn’t specified the details about stone throwing (although he HAD specificed the details when it came to Khaled’s alleged “interference” and “participation in an unauthorized demo”)in his (initial) report because he was tired at that time and it was a hot day – which is not what he had replied in his statement to the police.

Another issue is how they identified Khaled. The incriminating cop wrote in his reports that he had been in consecutive eye contact with Khaled thhroughout the demo, and had seen him throw stones from 30-50 meters – which really doesn’t qualify as “close range”. In addition in court he explained that there had been more than 200 people there and he had gotten a glimpse of Khaled here and there.

Another border policeman, who claimed that he identified Khaled based on his clothes gave a wrong description of him.

Again, all this didn’t raise enough doubts for the judge. She described the testimonies of the policemen as sincere and straightforward. The contradictions (also regarding where exactly Khaled was arrested) were described as proof that the border policemen didn’t coordinate their testimonies.

It is important to point out that Khaled was offered a plea agreement (he pleads guilty and gets sentenced to less time in military prison) that could have saved him time in prison, but he chose to fight for the recognition of his innocence in the court of occupation, against all odds. 95% of all cases in the military courts end in plea agreements.

There’s still more to be said but for more details, it is better talk to Khaled’s attorney.

 

By the way, journalists and others can come to the next hearing on the September 5th (when the arguments on the “appropriate” punishment will be given) to get an important first hand impression of the military court and to meet Khaled and show him your solidarity. The same day, there is another “interesting” hearing in a pre-trial of a minor where the lawyer is trying to dismiss the minor’s testimony to the police based on the argument that it was not given voluntarily (that is, he underwnet phisycal and psychological pressure and was deprived of basic rights during the interrogation).”

 

If anyone would like to attend the hearing on September 5 at Ofer military court, please send your full name and ID/Passport number to xxx@xxx.xxx

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incomplete compilation of naksa day stuff

wrote this in june, but let’s not forget this either

———-

Here is an incomplete compilation of some of the Naksa Day protests (I don’t know which ones are good). There were events in al-Wallaje, occupied Palestine; in East Jerusalem, occupied Palestine; in Hebron, occupied Palestine; in cities in Europe and elsewhere, but I don’t have documentation. It’s not clear yet how many ppl were detained overall in and around Palestine, how many were seriously injured, and I’m not sure if we have final number on the the martyrs from Syria. At this point, let’s also gather updates on the seriously injured and detained from Nakba Day events.

In solidarity

 

Mix protest in occupied territory:

–       Google map of actions in Lebanon, Palestine and Syria by IlaFalasteenSabila http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?ie=UTF8&hl=en&msa=0&msid=200759473807495059151.0004a4f3cc4089d227a0c&ll=32.454156,35.974731&spn=2.099643,5.388794&z=8

–       Tweets:

Live updates | Naksa Day | #June5 | Page 5

–       Article by PNN:
http://english.pnn.ps/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=10169

 

Bordering with occupied Jolan Heights, Syria

–       Video and report by Aljazeera English:
http://english.aljazeera.net/news/middleeast/2011/06/20116591150521659.html

–       Video by “Girl Syria TV 1”(?):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDQ3bg7Z1cY

–       Video by Baladee.net

–       Video by Baladee.net

Video by TelegraphTV

–       Pictures by Aljazeera English:
http://english.aljazeera.net/indepth/interactive/2011/06/201165182818393421.html

–       Pictures on fb by Javier Mureira Leiva
https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.2138651141371.2132484.1098913843

–       Post by Ali Abunimah w compilation of three videos:
http://electronicintifada.net/blog/ali-abunimah/video-marchers-rescue-injured-people-bodies-occupied-golan-heights

–       Article by reuters:
http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/06/06/us-palestinians-israel-idUSTRE7541PF20110606

–       One of the articles on Haaretz:
http://www.haaretz.com/news/diplomacy-defense/israeli-left-wing-leader-idf-used-excessive-force-in-naksa-day-protests-1.366094

–       Another Haaretz one (there’re more):
http://www.haaretz.com/print-edition/news/idf-fears-continued-palestinian-infiltration-on-syria-border-1.366174

–       Article by BBC (haven’t read, might be crap):
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-13660311

 

Beit Hanoun, besieged Gaza Strip, Palestine

–       Video and post by GYBO

A Naksa Inside Another!

–       report by ISM
http://palsolidarity.org/2011/06/18732/

–       pictures on fb by Mohammed el Burei https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.178945048825435.56586.100001298224378 –

–      pictures on fb by Gaza Youth Breaks Out https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.160271844038252.42709.118914244840679

 

al Wallaje, occupied West Bank and occupied East Jerusalem, Palestine

–       video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6mGyEbqUYDI&feature=share

 

Qalandia, occupied West Bank, Palestine

–       video by Annepaq

–       video by Haithm Katib:

–       picture of youth just before he was arrested (this is what he was arrested for), and of other protest just before he was almost arrested, by Ahmad Al Nimer
http://twitpic.com/57f9ln

–       pictures by activestills:
www.flickr.com/photos/activestills

–       pictures by various photographers
http://www.demotix.com/from/middle-east/palestinian-territory/ramallah

–       pictures on fb by Eye on Palestine
https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.216349891720593.54703.185129341509315

–       pictures on fb by Ahmad A. Mesleh
https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.166051346792453.44835.100001627657640

–       pictures on fb by Atta Jabr
https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.150988418306589.39818.147355382003226

–       pictures on fb by Iyas Abu Rahmah https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1877340408245&set=a.1877337848181.2099617.1083295028&type=1&theater

–       pictures on fb by Herak Shababi Mustakel https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=223006647728395&set=a.222995747729485.69985.210808955614831&type=1&theater

–       pictures on fb by Frank Kahn
https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150275718856349.379327.575181348

 

 

Bourj al Shamali Refugee Camp, Lebanon:

The Lebanese army reportedly prevented protestors from nearing the border and suppressed protests elsewhere in Lebanon

–       video by IlaFalasteenSabila

Tel Aviv:

–       pictures and post by Mairav Zonzsein
http://972mag.com/5000-protestors-in-tel-aviv-say-yes-to-1967-borders/

 

 

San Francisco:

–       video by Tom Vee

 

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incomplete compilation of pictures, videos and some articles on nakba demonstrations 15.5.2011

(wrote this in may but posting here as archive):
—–
I did not watch the videos, so I don’t know which are good and which aren’t. Also: We are still unsure on the number of injured, killed, detained etc. particularly in Gaza, Lebanon, Occupied Jolan, (any injured, killed, detained in Jordan?), Cairo. If you have accurate updates, please send them back; thanks for corrections, updates, etc.

QALANDIA
– video of the morning and early afternoon by Haitham Khatib

– video by I. Putterman:

– video by The Al3ned http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPrh1xN1LIA&feature=share
– video by cnn (no idea if it’s ok):
http://edition.cnn.com/video/data/2.0/video/world/2011/05/15/vo.israel.nakba.kalandia.clash.cnn.html
– interview w journalist Joe Elmer by ei
http://electronicintifada.net/content/interview-undercover-israeli-soldiers-arrest-west-bank-demonstrators/9958
– pictures on www.flickr.com/activestills

EAST JERUSALEM
– video by RT:

LEBANON
– video by al Jazeera English w Matthew Cassel:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYM-soef3c4&feature=player_embedded

IN FRONT OF ISRAELI EMBASSY IN CAIRO:
– video by rnnnews1 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESzXTyP0XYQ&feature=player_embedded
– graphic video of protestor shot in the stomach by Midan al Tahrir

– video and article by AJE: http://english.aljazeera.net/news/africa/2011/05/2011515131427646668.html
– video of protestors showing US made tear-gas projectile by 3arabawy:

– video of ambulance transferring injurred by 3arabawy:

– video of ambulances by 3arabawy:

– video of Protesters during clashes with army and police outside Israel’s embssy in Cairo by 3arabawy:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQkSaoiOdd0&feature=player_embedded
– video of clashes by moftasa:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KF5UaKiFlq4&feature=player_embedded
– picture by 3arabawy.org (more pics and posts on his site) http://www.arabawy.org/2011/05/16/photography-nakba-cairo/

JORDAN:
– by Klashenkoof1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ypg5AepqAqQ&feature=player_embedded#at=208

PPL ENTERING OCCUPIED JOLAN HEIGHTS (MAJDAL SHAMS)
– by baladeenet http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekgkuAaTjPg&feature=player_embedded
– other video by baladeenet:

– article by Ali Abunimah on ei:
http://electronicintifada.net/blog/ali-abunimah/dramatic-video-shows-palestinians-syrians-entering-israeli-occupied-golan-heights

AL WALLAJE:
eight palestinians were arrested yesterday, four early on, four later when during clashes and while the army searched each house and had sealed off the village; six or seven internationals were arrested; the internationals were reportedly released at 1 a.m., a Palestinian with Jerusalem ID released at 4am, 12 year-old twins released at one point last night, so that the remaining detainees are: Basel al ‘Araj, Ahmad al ‘Araj, Ahmad Abu Khiyera, Mohammad al ‘Araj and Mazin Qumsiyeh

– video by English PNN: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RD06coIJWQs&feature=player_embedded
– video by Mazin Qumsiyeh prior to his arrest:

GAZA (IN FRONT OF ERETZ):
(I still don’t know if and how many ppl were killed, last I heard, around 60 were injured, 15 seriously, and friends reported that army shot to kill; also, I am not sure what the situation is now, I had heard that ppl were staying in the buffer zone and that Israel had threatened with some military action if they didn’t move – if anyone has accurate info, plz update)
– video by vik2gaza.org:
http://vik2gaza.org/2011/05/15/manifestazione-al-valico-di-erez/
– pictures by vik2gaza.org http://lockerz.com/s/101878010
– pictures by Shady Alassar https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.1532993784616.63643.1827938682
– more videos and pics to follow, I think, on vik2gaza.org

SAFAD:
apparently 6 got arrested, there will be a demo today to demand their release; I AM NOT CERTAIN THAT THE BELOW VIDEOS ARE ACTUALLY FROM SAFAD, IF THEY ARE NOT AND YOU KNOW, PLEASE LET ME KNOW
– video by Nooly1 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kP-c_TfO2Qo
– http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=174670432587923&ref=notif&notif_t=event_invite

SAN FRANCISCO:
– video by Tom Vee

MIXED:
– (Jolan Hights, West Bank)by RT:

– pictures by AJE: http://english.aljazeera.net/photo_galleries/middleeast/20115141283124773.html

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christmas, western europe, my anger

* this was originally an email that i send to friends

i only debated for a minute whether it is ok to send you this today. to me, it is, because this is what is happening. it turned out pretty long, for that I apologize. first off, happy holidays to those to whom this means anything. i would like you to watch this video that my friend anne made about what exactly happened the day mustafa was murdered and in the following days (read more on her blog).

i began watching the video yesterday morning at the house of a family that has sort of
adopted me almost ten years ago. i was sitting on the sofa in the living room, watching it it on my laptop, wearing headphones. i was crying, holding myself.

h. (the father of the family and the one who decided one day that i was his “daughter”) came over, turned off my computer, hugged me and said “i thought you were used to this by now, don’t watch it if it hurts you”. and then we had a long discussion.

better not live in palestine?
wouldn’t it be better if i stayed in (western) europe, gave talks, lectures, made people understand? haven’t i done enough? haven’t i lived long enough in palestine? wasn’t it time to think of myself and my own life? …

variations of this conversations hit me very often around here, and they usually are exasperating. what was really nice this time with h. (who fled turkey/kurdistan for his activism on kurdish rights, who still has friends who are activists and freedom fighters) is that unlike my (actual) father, he really did hear me when i said i am not doing anything “for” palestinians, that I do not feel obligated to live there, that i am not sacrificing myself. that i live in palestine because for some reason, i am miserable everywhere else.

anger
the truth is i cannot stand being in western europe, particularly in this country here where i’m spending these months due to shitty circumstances (of course this rant is all in reference to mainstream western europe, which effectively is the europe i move in when here).

i cannot bear how stubbornly and aggressively all the oppression and exploitation and violence that make the kind of life styles that people are accustomed to possible are being denied. when i bring it up, it is me who is “causing problems”, it is me who cannot just leave things “in peace”. the oppression, violence, racism, (neo)colonialism etc. are being denied, ignored, THEY are not the problem, it is people who react with anger to them that are a problem. REALLY? i will tell you honestly, i hate this.

food coming from all parts of the world, available ALWAYS, for so little money…

the assumption that buying unnecessary new clothes, new furniture, new electro gear, new mobile phones etc. is “normal”, is ok, is sign of a desireable/successful/peaceful etc. member of society is SO OBVIOUSLY WRONG to me and yet, i cannot even begin to explain this to most i come in touch with. on the contrary, often, the general idea seems to be that it is them (most people i come in touch with here) who are exhibiting some commendable tolerance in trying to accommodate my presumably crazy lifestyle and ideas.

if you recognize yourself as one of the them, let me tell you that as much as i might even love (i do love some of you), YOU are NOT TOLERATING some craziness and complicatedness and aggressiveness on my part; it is ME trying to hard tolerate your blindness to so much violence for the sake of our relationship and your violent “peace of mind”.

the idea that you do not bear any responsibility for your consumption, that “you cannot change it anyway”, that “it won’t be you that will change this world” and that, therefore, you of course buy clothes at H&M and GAP and furniture at IKEA and food at LIDL and DIA and NETTO and ALDI and CARREFOUR and SPAR where the products are only offered all year around at these prices and in these quantities because the agricultural lands, forests, groves, lakes, rivers and seas, the air, people – including children – and animals are systematically, brutally, and often irrevocably exploited or worse, is so hard to stomach for me i could puke.

that so many of you believe that the criminal propaganda that is your mainstream news is “more or less” accurate is impossible to understand for me.

          that you think you need to consume cheese, meet, milk etc. in THESE QUANTITIES and apparently think that the constant abuse and killing of animals for the sustenance of your life-styles is legitimate ….

          and that so few actually bother to check in what ways the factories whose goods you keep consuming or the service providers whose services sustain your life-styles are actively involved in/financing/profiting from war in other countries (including palestine), thereby making you a financier of the killing and humiliation and exploitation of and systematic violence against others….

          that so few understand that mustafa concerns you not because i know him, because his sister and brother are my friends, but because his murder is the direct result of global power-dynamics and industries that you feed and finance, because HE COULD HAVE BEEN YOUR BROTHER HAD YOU BEEN BORN ELSEWHERE OR WITH DIFFERENT SKIN OR AT A DIFFERENT TIME OR WITH A DIFFERENT NAME…

          that so few understand that your lifestyles are a reason why mustafa and others like him are murdered in this way…
that you fail to see that YOU/WE/ALL OF US could do much to change this from right where we are…. 

          seeing all that racism and discrimination here and seeing that it is actually being denied (“no, come on, this is not racism, this is common sense/the truth/stating the obvious”) …

    seeing that so many can’t even believe the economic/political/environmental/etc. justice for all is even attainable, can’t imagine that the other ways of living, the other worlds that we all need to fight for – that some of us or many of us are fighting for – is even possible…

makes me almost despair and very very angry.

believe me that i often have difficulty suppressing tears of anger, of extreme frustration, of overwhelming hopelessness, and other feelings when i’m faced with these attitudes (and i guess i try to suppress them only because i desire to somewhat maintain my relationship with (a) given person(s) and think that they are so entrenched in this capitalist way of life-and-death that there’s little chance of them getting my point; that they’d likely think it’s just me going off on another senseless rant; that they’d attribute my anger/etc. to some dominant power trip where i am trying to “always be right”; that they’d either take offense at my perceived arrogance/aggressiveness/pushiness or end up secretly/openly wishing that sometime in my life, i may “calm down” and “find happiness”; that, basically, they’d refuse to acknowledge the context for my anger/etc.

museum with my father
recently, my father took me to a museum that exhibited his line of field, the very hard labor that has ruined his health and body (like the health and body of thousands/millions like him). my father was proud to show me what he spend decades doing to provide for my siblings and me, he was excited and happy that i finally wanted to know more about this field that is definitely his expertise. we were both really looking forward to him explaining these things, these horrible machines, to me.

i don’t remember the wording, the details, but when my father with his immigrant’s accent and suspiciously dark complexion approached the receptionists (two middle-aged white males), he was answered to in a condescending, supremacist and racist way that made me very fuckin angry.

i had such an urge to tell these men off, i knew i would have the upper hand in an argument with them, but i also sensed that my father would feel uncomfortable and embarrassed on my behalf if i responded to this routine oppression. to my father, like to the two men, their behavior was not racist, it was “normal”, and therefore expressions of anger on my side would have been not-ok.

for my the sake of my father’s ummediate comfort, i suppressed the anger, i strolled to the other end of the room to hide hot tears, i went to the bathroom, and all through the tour of the museum – while looking at these monstrous machines and mechanisms that my father struggled with for so many years, starting when he was way younger than i am today, as part of a money-making industry that exhibits no respect for its workers – i kept turning away, kept falling back to hide more tears.

i feel unhealthy here. this is not to suggest that there are no people and communities living differently here, fighting for alternatives here, or that capitalism/consumerism/ etc. don’t dominate in palestine, either. (they do, though palestine is not a dominant promotor/beneficiary of these policies, palestinians don’t call the shots)

instead, the violence that these policies/ways of life etc. necessitate is much more visible there, people are in some ways more aware of these links, and – although they are rapidly being extinguished, there are still the traces or memories of more sustainable, more just, less profit-/expansion-oriented ways of life. it is christmas eve, and there are some of you here that i love, for whom i wish happiness and security, for whose needs i wish to be met. it pains me a lot that i cannot feel more comfortable living around you here. but i wished you thought you had different needs, that’s the truth.

i don’t live in palestine for the reasons you think
to return to that discussion with h., there is a lot to fight for/fight against in palestine, as well – and not all is directly linked to zionist/western colonialism/imperialism etc.

i do think that i AM fighting (alongside many many others), but i am not fighting for “their” freedom or justice;

i KNOW that freedom/justice/etc. is connected for everyone, that none of us can be free as long as any one of us is oppressed/exploited/occupied/colonized/etc. – and certainly not while its done ostensibly in my name and through my resources.

the assumption that my living in palestine must stem from some possibly unhealthy need for self-sacrifice, some mother-theresa-style think-of-others-not-of-myself attitude, is in itself based on a series of un-humanizing imaginations of palestinians.

if my life-choices were indeed determined by the question of where/how i might most efficiently contribute to the struggle for freedom and justice for palestinians specifically, i would likely have chosen to fight while living in europe.

but the truth is, in spite (and not BECAUSE!) – of all the crap that is happening in palestine (including a lot of inner-palestinian shit), i feel more coherent there than here. i feel more at home there than i have felt anywhere else in the last 15+ years (and no, that isn’t saying that much about me, but it is saying a lot about palestine and its indigenous people and about dominant europe). i LIKE my life in palestine and i do not at all like living here (or even being here for more than two weeks). i prefer many aspects of my life there (community, food, climate, rythms, …), etc. 

i often wished it wasn’t that way, because it’s not easy to stay living there for many reasons, because i do wish could enjoy living closer to my original family and friends, and because there are always a range of problematic power-dynamics at work when non-palestinians visit/live in palestine: not being the express target of racist/colonial/imperialist policies; having more rights in their country than palestinians themselves; playing a major role in maintaining or worsening the status quo for palestinians; and BEING ABLE TO SET FOOT IN PALESTINE WHEN SO MANY PALESTINIANS ARE DENIED THIS RIGHT, etc. etc. etc., but that is how it is. i live in palestine because i want to and because, so far, i can. (it felt less isolating that his time, h. understood and said “go” – which i will as soon as i can).

don’t try to pacify
and i cry, because mustafa’s murder is terrible, because so much that happens is terrible. if anything, i am glad and relieved that i still cry like this, that i still get angry like this. there is nothing about such shit to “get used to”, and in my opinion, there is no heroism in indifference. i know great activists who care strongly without crying, maybe without feeling this much pain. I don’t know. for me, it is inevitable, and the pain and the anger are part of the motor that – as long as i am pressured to ignore its causes or pretend it isn’t there, if I am not actually attacked for my REACTION to shit – I draw my strength and passion from. of the many things that I wished I could change about me, this isn’t one.
so please, please don’t attempt to pacify me! don’t push some white-man’s understanding of what MKL had to say about non-violence on me, don’t “worry” about me feeling this anger and pain – but know that i worry about your lack of it. if anything, feel your own anger instead, and work to change its causes.

jp wrote an email from the drc
last night i received an email from my friend jp. he wrote that he thought of my post about mustafa one night this week when while driving through the bush in DRC with two others, a few copper diggers forced them to stop the car and demanded the miserable sum of 1US$ (!) so that they could build a coffin for one of them who had “suffocated to death in red dirt”. jp wrote that these young men risk their lives because digging copper is the only because way to make any real money. it made jp think about how insane it is that the detail of whether you are born here or there decides your entire life and the amount of suffering you are likely to live or cause. it felt very good to me that jp shared this with me (merci, jp).

the real bethlehem
this is pouring out of me, that is why it’s so long. i can feel how this stay in here is changing me, is radicalizing me; it’s very hard on me, although i love seeing many of you, and do miss you when i am not here. please watch the video and talk to someone else about it. and please, read up about the bethlehem that will be mentioned in many churches and whatnot tonight (really, how CAN PEOPLE CELEBRATE THIS while ignoring what is HAPPENING there?!).

on the radio, i heard a piece about christmas in bethlehem just now, it was infuriating. not a word about military occupation, not a word about the illegal apartheid wall or the checkpoints that make life in the city that has come to be my home hell. not a word about the three refugee camps and about what life there is like, especially at nights. not a reference to a UN research paper from may 2009 that stated that only 13 percent of the bethlehem district (which is palestinian land) is accessible to palestinian use. not a word about attacks by colonial settlers on palestinian civilians, about displacement and imprisonment and torture and and and. as its often been said, if jesus was born today, he wouldn’t be allowed in.

remember these facts on about very real, very bleak bethlehem when you hear of celebrations of some fiction tonight. i do wish you lovely days and evenings,

esta

 

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more on the murder of mustafa

some friends responded with words of anger, care, support etc. thank you. it means a lot to me right now. i cannot tell you how much. it feels unbearable to be in europe, to feel like i am screaming out my soul, and not know it even reaches anyone, if anyone here even gets it.

 

i wrote this in response to a friend, but i am so exhausted, i am going to post it here.

 

there is a lot of information, links, pictures, articles and videos to post, mostly about the funeral. videos that show how – while mustafa was dying, the colonizing soldiers temporarily stopped the car that was supposed to take him to hospital in lieu of an ambulance from leaving the village and at the same time prevented his sister ola from going to the car, prevented her from reaching her oldest brother who was bleeding to death in a taxi only a few meters away from her, inside their small village. ola, my friend, is screaming, she cannot accept, cannot believe she is not going to be able to reach her bleeding brother, but the occupying army’s soldiers joke, stop her.

 

the occupying army attacks the funeral, they make a joke of the murder of mustafa, they say it is mustafa’s fault that he was shot dead in his village or that the soldier who opened the back door of the armored military jeep, stuck out only the tip of his rifle, aimed it directly at mustafa who was less than 10m away, and shot, says he hadn’t seen him.

 

a friend, the young man in the striped shirt standing next to mustafa in those terrible pictures of mustafa getting shot, said that another shot was fired at him, too. we almost lost another brother?

 

it’s an accident, they are used to it, it’s normal.

 

ITS NOT.

 

i cannot describe these feelings today, yesterday…. it doesn’t get better. the pain stays and eats me up, the inability to even assure his brothers, his sisters, his mother, my friends, myself that THIS CAN NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN!, to guarantee this to any of us is killing me. that mustafa is just not there is …. hurts so much i cannot find a word to describe it. and while i am supposed to go on with life in this city in europe, the pain spreads into a numbing emptiness that separates me from those around me. i want to be in palestine, i want to be with people whose lives are unable to just resume, who are also shocked and paralyzed and angered and in pain and in disbelief and in rage.

 

i really want to see ola and zeyad and loai, i want loai’s twin odai to be out of prison, i want to be with people who are mourning, i want to share this…

 

i want mustafa to be with his family.

 

i just don’t want this to have happened.

 

i can’t accept this.

 

rationally, its there, but in my heart, i cannot accept that this happened, i cannot understand it, i cannot understand it, and i cannot understand that so many people do not hurt and make them stop now.

 

here are links. i don’t have energy to comment on them. please read them, please watch them, please spread this, please care and make others care.

 

link with links

 

anne’s post and more links on her blog

 

linah’s post – and don’t anyone dare resent her anger!

 

link with more links (thanks jesse)

 

 

 

 

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