mustafa died

mustapha died. he was killed inside the village he grew up in. while protesting the ongoing zionist attempt to further annex their lands. in cold blood.

i was on the train to pick up a friend at the international bus stop. i was just uploading the video of mustafa bleeding into the ground and being carried into a service, i had just typed “how can he possibly survive this” – my heart hurts so much at seeing mustafa’s brother loai (young man in grey/black checkered jumper first seen at 0:19), at seeing mustafa, who is so strong, lying there like that, bleeding like that. before i could upload the video, i got the message. he’s dead..

http://youtu.be/iJ5DipqScyE

it is suffocating to receive this incomprehensible news that breaks the world, but around me, people don’t even know, people continue, people just sit in a train. people stare at me, i’m crying like i’m crying out something in my guts, i’m glued to my laptop and my phone, they are the only things that reflect the terrible reality on the train, far away from palestine. it’s hard to grasp when nothing around me is interrupted, when no one around me feels the hole and pain and immense injustice left by the murder of mustafa.

at least the friend who just got back from palestine is here. he didn’t know mustafa, but his murder is also part of his life now. i want to be back, i don’t want to be here.

anne says there are clashes now in nabi saleh. later today, a silent vigil is planned in ramallah. tomorrow morning, a procession will take mustafa’s body from the hospital to the village. i can’t imagine his family now.

see here for more on the demo. check anne’s blog for more pictures

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update on mustafa tamimi

an activist writes that bissan, the 15/16 yr old daughter of the political prisoner naji tamimi, got her arm broken, and that waed , the 14/15 yr old son of political prisoner bassem tamimi, was shot in the leg by a rubber-coated steel bullets. that two anarchist activists got arrested/detained at the hospital (?) trying to get to mustafa. that haim (activist/photographer who took picture of mustafa getting shot) was detained.

reports saying he was hit in his eye, lost a lot of blood, everything unclear. then some messages saying there is a chance he will not have brain damage, that he will survive, and that his eye can possibly be saved. any of this would be a miracle. we are wishing for a miracle.

please, help make people understand that HE COULD HAVE BEEN THEIR BROTHERS, THEIR FRIENDS, etc., make them FEEL SOMETHING!

this is how it happened (you can see the rifle and you can see the canister as it shoots towards mustafa’s head), from a very very small distance. this was not “collateral damage”, this was shot-to-kill.

 

 

ola, his sister, crying, after a service (minibus) drove mustafa away (but was stopped by the army before even leaving the village)

the young man in the grey/black checkered jumper (front right) is mustafa’s brother loai. he sees only now that it’s his brother lying on the street

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news of someone i know in nabi saleh getting shot

anne send me a message this afternoon. someone seriously injured in nabi saleh. i asked who. mustafa tamimi, 28. the brother of zeyad and ola? she didn’t know. i went online to check with others. yes, it’s him, manal said. its hard not to be in palestine right now.

photo: lazar simeonov

i hate this. sitting somewhere getting a message that someone is injured, hoping its not serious, hoping, selfishly, that its not someone i know, finding out its serious, finding out its someone i know, hoping i’ll get news that he made it, freaking out from fear that i’ll get news that he didn’t, thinking of his mother, sisters, father, brother in prison, other three brothers, cousin, grandfather, etc., thinking plz plz plz plz no. paralyzed in my inability to DO something, infuriated at my inability to make people even notice, to make people care, to make people feel the outrage. wanting so badly to know how he really is, how his sister is, how his brothers are, if his younger brother in prison even knows, and how he is if he does, recharging my phone and then hesitating with my phone in my hands because what do i say, “how are you? I hope your brother survives?” sitting here and once again only writing xxxxx emails. i hate this. i hate this. and mainstream doesn’t even fucking take notice, they don’t even make it into any fucking statistics. i hate this. even though i saw the horrible picture with blood and that hole disfiguring his face, i cannot believe it, i want him to come through, well. am fucking angry at this world. and i am not even his mother, his father, his sister, his brothers, his relatives, i cannot even imagine.


 

 

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my heart hurts as i’m leaving the house

top picture taken on 28.9.2011, bottom picture on 3.10.2011.

on monday, the occupier’s forces uprooted another hundred+ trees in al wallaje to make more room for the illegal apartheid wall. on what is suddenly considered the “jerusalem side”, these were pretty much

the last trees standing on its designated route. see pictures on anne’s blog and also check her prior documentation of ongoing annexation of more of the village’s lands.

i meant to write a bit more about this, but i don’t get down to organizing my thoughts. we’ve known for a while that they are building the cruel apartheid wall all around the populated areas of al wallaje, we’ve been at demonstrations, at events, we talk and write and email about this, it’s not new. it’s an ongoing atrocity happening a few minutes away from me, and i rarely have the heart to go see it happening.

when anne told me they had uprooted many trees (and pointed out that there were really few reactions from our side), sure, i felt sad, angry, etc. – the routine mix of feelings around here, but it wasn’t much of a reaction really. only i went back with her the next day (tuesday), only when i saw… i broke down crying. i could have written this any other time they did this in al wallaje, often much more massively, except that those times, i didnt bother to go, i didn’t see. it was just another of those messages to receive, to forward.

knowing about it is one thing, seeing it… one thing that was so painful again is what is one of the most terrible, most cruel aspects of this ongoing ethnic cleansing and colonization of palestine: while we talk, while we resist, while we try to come up with more efficient ways to stop this, the zionist regime continues to create those FACTS on the ground. when they announce they will, it sounds ludicrous, outrageous, there is this strong sense of “but they can’t! this is too much! surely they can’t!” and we resist. but then, they go ahead and suddenly, it’s hard to remember the unthinkable wasn’t there even thinkable before, suddenly, it appears almost irreversible.

when we are in abu dis or in bethlehem, do we really still feel the outrage at the apartheid wall cutting through the community? do we really understand that until this monstrosity came along, our friends and others with “west bank ID” went shopping in al quds and that that was something very ordinary? are we still aware that this disgusting regime and its spreading practices WERE NOT THINKABLE BEFORE THEY HAPPENED?

when i arrived on tuesday in al wallaje, i struggled to wrap my mind around the fact that only a day before, this place had looked so different. it was really difficult to understand that this “road” lying so securely in front of me had not been there for ages. it was there and it hadn’t been there the day before. i broke down crying when i remembered that only in december, we removed the signs that indicated where this monstrous route would run through the village.

i broke down after i asked the 50something land owner, issa, who sat at the spring looking down at the vast and beautiful land sloping down in front of him, whether he had any lands left, and he said “no, it’s finished, we’re saying goodbye now”.

we sat there for a bit and watched as a herd of sheep grazed on the leaves of the branches of his trees that the army had left lying around – most of the actual trees, they had replanted on an adjacent stretch of land on the this side of where they apparently plan (and began to) build the apartheid wall, someone else’s land, presumably to avoid another “graveyard of trees” for journalists to film and photograph. it didn’t matter any more.

issa’s grandson, a child, was cutting off smaller branches and carrying them to a pile on what has suddenly become “this side” in an attempt to save SOMEthing. the story of palestine. the unthinkable happens, and we get used to it.

when i sit at the spring and look over all that beautiful land, i CANNOT imagine that concrete monster that is intended to cut all that beauty off. but i know, one day, i will stand in front of it, and have difficulty remembering that it hadn’t been there, that it is reversible.

i’m off to a demo (another one, elsewhere) now. can’t think of  anything else to do. but my heart is hurting.

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finally blogging

this blog will develop as i go. am starting by posting stuff i wrote in the past

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